First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
