It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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