I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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