I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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