And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
