Swine flu. Run for my life!
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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