i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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