Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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