Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize