Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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