It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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