i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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