soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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