Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize