That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
