oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
