i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize