separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
