you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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