That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
