girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
jump out the window naked night went bad
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