Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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