i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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