took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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