between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
