just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
