No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize