It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
