we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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