I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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