But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
