Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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