I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
