this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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