Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
