Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize