I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
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Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
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We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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