Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
