When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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