Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
