check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
