3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
