I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
