Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
