I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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