there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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