yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I cannot find my penis.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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