I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
this boner is exhausting
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
