My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
