you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
