he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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