Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
