What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
