so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just found puke in my bra..
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
