normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
