is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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