No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
