I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
