better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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