I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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