You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
