My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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