What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
