My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You dont lie about slip and slides
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
