Me. At least after what I've been through.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
