Already got asked if we're dating
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize