ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
