There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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