420 ftw
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
