That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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