i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
