6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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