Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize