just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
